We usually have a drink every weekend and I often fall into a deep drink induced sleepīut I began waking in the morning feeling sore down below. We have chatted about the lack of sex in our relationship but end up going around in circles I was happy to go through this until we were both ready to sort it out, until last year. My husband is a loving man but is not demonstrative. Our sex life was very lusty and fulfilling when we first met - but it soon settled down to having sex once a month after a drink. He is your child.I have been married for 5 years. No matter who and how he loves, what matters is he loves himself for it. What if he’s gay? It’s like being left-handed. And not withdrawing from your role as his dad-mentally and emotionally in particular-is probably the most important way to help him feel a sense of being cared for and accepted. It matters to show love and support for him even if you don’t fully understand everything yet. Don’t be a “Marites.” Rather search for resources that lead you to becoming a better parent and support to your son.ĭon’t wait for the big coming out, if ever it happens, to start learning. This is not the kind of research I’m suggesting that you do. In the same study I mentioned earlier, people typed “Is he gay” into Google more commonly than “Is she gay?” People are more curious about husbands, dad and grandfathers than wives, aunts or grandmothers. Start educating yourself about the LGBTQ community. This is the time to demonstrate what family is about. He needs his dad and his family more than ever. Perhaps still trying to figure whether sparklers are gay cousins of the fireworks family. You understand life and the world better. And if he is, it may be hard for you to think straight. Not all boys who like to wear heels grow up to be gay. Or if you sense that he wants to talk and is not doing so, ask gentle open-ended questions like how did school go that day? If you listen carefully and respond wisely, he might share his thought process which can lead to a dialogue. Watch your facial expression and tone of voice. If ever you see him again in his mom’s high heels, have a conversation with your son and ask what made him curious about the stiletto. Seriously, it’s likely for your child to feel alone. They may be overwhelmed with stress driving them to hide inside the closet. Those who don’t also say that they always felt different from their peers but didn’t exactly know what. I also learned that knowing one’s sexual orientation-whether gay or straight-is something teens recognize from a very young age. Reinforce his belief that you have his back no matter what. Assure him that in your family tree, he is in the fruit section. A lot of them have their WIFI on looking for opportunities to connect. Adolescents-straight or not-go through certain social pressures. Or point out certain LGBTQ celebrities and role models in dinner conversations.
I’m not saying put glitters to the shower or switch off the GPS every time it says, “Go straight.” If the family is watching a movie together, for example, and an LGBTQ character comes up, affirm to him that you and his mother are accepting and supportive of the LGBTQ community. For now, make him feel that your home is a safe space. If indeed he is in the closet, allow him to come out on his own terms. Still, I suggest you wait for your child to open up to you. The best indicator you should look out for? When the kid says, “I’m gay.” They are Googling “Is my son gay?” 28 more often than “Is my son a genius?” While there are certain gender non-conforming behaviors like playing with mom’s make-up kit or high heels, assuming your son is gay is not that simple. I need my virtual friend back.ĭJ: I did my own research and gathered that the New York Times ran a story about parents with male kids. I’ve got golf buddies but this isn’t a topic I can openly talk about. I know this is a parental concern and your column is about singles. And over the long weekend, I caught him wearing his mom’s high heels and her lipstick, too. There’s something about him, though, that worries me. someone who will likely one day make his mark. I’m now married, blessed with a good 14-year-old son.
I was a huge fan of your column way back when I was starting in my career.